Summer Lovin'

Here in Britain, we've been hit with an inexplicable but totally unexpected blast of heat. It happens every year since global warming - it's cold and raining most of the time and then, totally randomly, there's a few weeks of unfathomable and almost unpleasant summer fire.

Because the UK is usually pretty cold, when this heat spell does hit us, we all panic and feel obliged to drop everything and get out on the streets and into the parks while the weather is nice. My greatest trouble right now is that I don't have much suitable summer legwear - so, this evening I'm dedicating some time to cutting up old jeans to create some marginally-more-stylish-than-camos denim shorts.

A few ideas on how to make the most of the weather:

1. Buy a 90s boombox and strut down the street with it on your shoulder, blasting dubstep & other genres of music that society is still uncomfortable with.

2. Go into a local forest with only the shirt on your back and a hunting knife and try to live off the wild for a couple of days, scaring tourists & families as you tackle deer and outsmart rabbits.

3. Wear ridiculous sunglasses.

4. Play block in your neighbourhood, with the twist being that stepping into sunny patches means immediate disqualification. Play at 12 noon.

5. Stare into the sun and see how long the inverted image stays in front of your eyes. Try to make it so strong that you can't see people's facial features. (Disclaimer: don't do this, it will severely damage your eyes, obv.)

6. Get creative with your sunburn - distribute sunblock in order to make shapes on your back. You could write your name, or a quote, or even a complex image. Think of it like a temporary tattoo.

7. Get creative with your friends's sunburn. Be as explicit as you think they would forgive you for.

8. Go on a quest, on foot. Every new town or city you reach, go into the local bar or hotel and ask for side quests. If nobody gives you any, just find a cave and kill everything in it.

9. Find a field of cows and see if you can, over time, have them accept you as one of their own. Copy them and interact with them. Just make sure the farmer knows you're not one of them.

10. Use the clear sky as an opportunity to study the sun in great depth. Try to make your own.


Sunny suppositions for your magnanimous minds.

Katsuo